thursday

today has been a good day.
after staying up till ridiculous hours working on the second of three OC paper
i got up, went to a meeting
got to the DH, had an AMAZING wrap i made myself (spinach tortilla, layer of guac, one slice swiss cheese, four strips of fake looking bacon, at least half a tomato (sliced), a handful of baby spinach, all topped with bbq sauce, wrapped up tight and grilled)
went over the paper again
met up with brian to talk about the philosophical elements of paper, ended up having a nice conversation/fight
met up with ginna to talk about the grammatical elements of the paper, ended up looking at pictures/being silly
dropped off paper after refraining to drip blood all over it from my paper cutted finger
talked to mom, thought about gingerbread men
enjoyed greg making lasagna for ginna and myselfj
invited more people over and had a few rounds of progressive gin, aka: The Best Card Game EVER
good was really good, enjoyed baked goods ginna's mom sent over as her advent calendar
then most people left
ginna stayed with me as a i baked six lbs of cookies (thats a long story - basically i guilted my friend teddy into buying cookie dough to benefit operation smile, but with the condition that i bake them for him. so i am, he just stopped by actually, and praised my skills ... meanwhile i have to fend off all these lost freshmen who come wandering into the kitchen in search of fresh cookies, explaining that they arent really mine to give away ... they all look confused)
and now im baking cookies, writing this, but really studying plato

and its snowing outside, and there are white lights everywhere and poinsettias on the table
and the bells on the door outside keep ringing as people step in and out

like transmission

i was incredibly out of it at the library today
aftereffects of the GRE leaving me really tired combined with donating what looked like alot of blood equals a really sore arm on a dizzy esther

however, i did come up with the idea to classify things i want to do, and if i were to do them, how i would go about it (these are not ordered)

counseling: IPS for master's in gen psch and then PsyD in clinical, end up somewhere in the seattle area talking to people

law: tulane for JD, focusing on who knows what but right now corporate law (end up working for catholic charities or non-profit of some sort), or maritime (because it sounds fun and international)

education: pick up math classes somewhere in NW while working, apply somewhere for masters in education, teach high-school math at a preppy private school to pay off loans, then bounce around the world indefinitel

business: ND (one of the better two year MBA programs for non-business majors), and either take over fish place or some non-profit

medicine: pick up the sciences somewhere, then try to get into UW or OHSU if looking for an MD; OR look into a masters in public health from tulane, from a management standpoint or somesuch, and try to get with the red cross or something

philosophy: the new oxford program for a MS in ancient and medieval, focus on greek and consq Plato, come back to ND and be Sayre's protege while getting PhD, then find somewhere to hole up and devote life to theatetus and parmenidies

random: IPS for masters in gen psych, pick up classes in some language, work for the state department, become diplomat

random#2: IPS for psych, work as a professional negotiator/go to liaison type

life: go back to sydney, live in a hostel while working under the table and pay off loans, move to manchester, work as an undertaker, and figure out life



... thoughts?

brrrr

so the pope has to be a sort of PR person, right? like he cant just say whatever he feels like, he needs to tread carefully etc. of course, he has the Holy Spirit on his side in a slightly more tangible way then your average being, but still ...

if you're a tenured professor, you can pretty much say whatever you want. you dont need to be quite as judicious, unless you are extremely aware of the impact you have on your students, and this is something i think macintyre appreciates. i honestly dont think he ever says anything that he doesnt throughly believe to be true

so if it came to a philosophical difference between mac and JPII, and you just had to accept one or the other ... who would you go with?
not a matter of faith, but intense philosophy.

just a question.


ps

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAC!!!!!

phew

when you dont write for ages, the thought of starting up again can be daunting

i was going to do a thanksgiving post, but obviously didnt
it was really nice
i woke up earlyish, went to the DH with allison and christene
food was good, kids were cute, it was all very nice
then i spent about 4 hours on the phone, grandma, home, marmar, patch, jacquelyn, etc.
my favourite part was being curled up on my bed
lights off, heavy snow falling outside, heater on
cup of tea and an episode of supernatural

ahh .... it was nice

hung out with my friend mike gerardi for a little bit, watching the SC/ASU game, talking about football in general

i really like football. like, really like it.
glad we went out the way we did. stanford was a messy game, but hilarious
and anything that makes zibby smile ... well, odds are ill be happy too

[ps tavita pritchard? anyone? why dont WE get samoan quarterbacks?]


last night was nice too, diana came over from chicago, she and i stayed up late cutting out snowflakes ...
badin is psycho decorated, the phrase "looks like christmas threw up in here" might have been used, oddball decorations, bedraggled tinsel, broken lights held up with blue painting tape ... its pretty classic


well, i should go to class ... its why im here after all
speaking of, there's this guy in a couple of my classes, who never reads and skips all the time
and i get that if its a required class that you really really dont want to be in (poli sci for ex), why waste time going if you can learn it on your own and sped more time studying for the classes you want
but when you're a senior, everything you're taking is because you allegedly want to be there ... why do you skip? why do you NEVER read?
conversation at breakfast (circ 9am):
(im sitting by myself, with the NYtimes, very happy, quiet, enjoying my eggs)
guy *throws down tray* "hey!"
me " ... hi"
"mind if i join you?!"
" ... whatever ... im not a morning person fyi"
"oh ... neither am i ... this is the earliest ive been up since before fall break!"
"why"
"oh i had class"
" ... makeup time?"
"oh no, its at 8"
"every week"
"yup, its my favourite too. i love it so much."
" .... but you havent been since fall break?"
"yeah, i just cant get up"
" ... yet this is your favourite class"
"yeah, its really sad, i wish i could go more"
"you just dont bother to get up. seriously."
"yeah .... "
"wow" *go back to paper*
"oh, you probably think im a terrible person ... you must study all the time"
"not really, no. i do the reading and go to class though"
*looks all sad* "i know i know. ive wasted my college time. im a waste"

i didnt bother consoling him.
dont interrupt my breakfast.

old ladies and freshman football players

so i was just in the restroom in the library, fixing my hair when this ancient vietnamese woman came in and started making conversation about what a beautiful day it was. very cheerful.
then i left and she was behind me so i held the door open for her (she barely came up to my chest, tiny tiny), and she looks up with this wide smile and says "have a nice life!"
it was really nice.

then i looked into a classroom on my way back to work, and saw my new football boyfriend ... what a great day.

oops

yeah, so about my icon.
its minotaur, and its crying because its going to be killed by theseus... maybe

its from the album artwork of Amnesiac
a labyrinthine work, entered at one's own risk

?


[just a possibility]

ps

6. my "Jew thing" (as one friend so delicately put it)

7. Absolute Obsession with kierkegaard (hee hee). i wrote a thingy in my last class because nieman "silenced" me, basically saying that i talked all the time and he was going to force other people to. it was frustrating, i had a lot to say. so i wrote this thingy, and titled it (keep in mind, i never title anything) "poetical fragments"
i really enjoyed that.

thoughts

here i am going to list things that i want to think about outloud, do not have the time at the moment, but do not want to forget.
im putting them out in the open because im more likely to follow through this way, and i really do want to figure these out

1. the library is seriously considering phasing out bookplates, and listing all donor information online. my immediate reaction was "NO", and i had to spent about 15min explaining to my boss why, at the same time figuring it out for myself.
i basically ended up saying that the libraries owe the time and effort to the donors and even if they dont consciously notice them, its important for the students to see them
her first reaction was "oh yeah ... maybe later in life they'll remember and they'll donate too"
but thats not it, in fact i think thats a terrible reason. i want it to be non utilitarian ... more like the libraries setting an example for the students, than trying to put subliminal messaging out there.

2. section A of the nytimes. im obsessed. i actually dont like eating with people anymore, i look forward to sitting in a corner reading.
ive noticed that i scan headlines, and the ones im most likely to stop and read have to do with Iran, China, the Congo, or major businesses merging.
which is redic because im the token politics hater in the family, and i REALLY hate business.
know your enemies?

3. how i feel about life terms for juveniles. did you know that the US was the only country in the whole UN that advocates life sentence without the option of parole for juvies? why is that?
i dont know how i feel ... my head says that they should get a second chance, my gut (sry mom) says that they shouldnt.

4. we potentially need to create subdivisions of "minor." rape is evil and vicious no matter what, obviously. but there has to be a concrete difference in raping a 17 year old and a 3 year old (some guy who raped a 3 yearold girl and videotaped it four years ago got caught yesterday). i dont know. something about child molesters.
im mentally opposed to the death penalty ... but anyone who does anything to a child like that deserves to be impaled and fed to the harpies.

5. i love the dali lama.

ZOMBIE DANCE!

if you want to laugh really REALLY hard, look up pitchforkmedia's review of in rainbows.
i was in tears, silently, because there are a ton of people studying around me.

i also discovered that if andy samberg is in something, im going to laugh really hard. even if it is just him punching people right before they eat something.
i think he's samardzija's lost twin.

i feel like i have had nothing to say for a while.
i read the NYtimes every breakfast ... almost always rip out some article.
but im left all blergh. maybe its cos currently my sinuses are filled with blood.

maybe im devoting my subconscious to figuring out what on EARTH im going to do for the OC's aquinas paper. grrr.


oh well, there'll always be youtube and snl digital shorts.


[live your dreams!!!!]

bloods

yeah, so i was getting ready for bed, cleaning up etc
perhaps cleaned my ears with a non-earcleaning cottony stick thing
perhaps felt a slight discomfort, nothing to worry about
and after noticed that cottony stick thing is all bloody
and my ear feels wet

yeah, so i googled "bleeding ear"
not too much to do, positive the ear drum is intact, but thought maybe there was some reason for it
like, i didnt/dont feel a pain, i have no idea what happened

but once i saw "viral hemorrhagic fever" on the list of possible causes
i stopped looking


so yeah, other than that im fine
maybe i have ebola, but as far as a i know
im fine


*brrrr*

R A D I O H E A D

its here. i woke up at 6:55am to listen to the world radio premier streamed online from london.
ive listened to it 3x so far ... im not sure what to think, where it falls on the radiohead rateometer
been talking to my friend sean all morning online about it, compare/contrast
i think its brilliant
im going to put it on my mp3 player
listen to it all day
but yes ... and videotape may be one of the most beautiful songs ... ever

I Ran

i think im in love with andy samberg.
and as i predicted, i am the ONLY person who even likes Hot Rod, let alone is OBSESSED here


but yeah:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=UnpNkPCcfBM&mode=related&search=

[trust me]

IN RAINBOWS

from deadairspace.com

Hello everyone.

Well, the new album is finished, and it's coming out in 10 days;

We've called it In Rainbows. (http://www.inrainbows.com)

Love from us all.

Jonny

**********

i found out from iain about 20minutes after he found out, we freaked out mutually for a little bit, then parted ways to spread the good news.
a subdued stevo knows, told marmar, was going to call home but gerd called right then, and so i informed him as well

ive been writing notes, and posting and pretty much telling anyone i can think of
this is the best news since ... well, since a LONG time, and im am STOKED

its going to be phenomenal, absolutely glorious beautiful
ive stopped shaking
but
i feel like im glowing



rain after the longest drought
rain
rain brings rainbows


["In Rainbows" -Radiohead, released October 10, 2007]

hey everyone

take this!


http://www.politicalcompass.org/

my political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -4.62
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.51

i still dont get what it means, but im somewhere near gandhi ... it probably would have helped if i knew anything about globalization probably. and some of the questions are weirdly phrased and such, but it is funny, esp when they place current world leaders

aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight im out

YES

Your results:
You are Supergirl

Supergirl 68% Spider-Man 65% Green Lantern 65% Hulk 65% Superman 60% The Flash 60% Iron Man 60% Robin 58% Wonder Woman 53% Batman 40% Catwoman 30%

Lean, muscular and feminine. Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz




i finally found a superhero quiz where im a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!
and supergirl at that, aweeesome

a-jad

yeah, i read pretty much everything in usa today, the ny times, and nro on the shindig at colombia.
what a mess.

however, what struck me most was this quote from usa today:

"In 1933, there was a fascist called Adolf Hitler," said Rachmael Benhaim, a 40-year-old psychologist from Queens who took time off from work to participate in the rally. "If people had protested against him, 6 million Jews would be alive … and World War II would not have happened. The lesson we learned is people have to come out and protest before things happen."


protesting ... our culture and its pathetic obsession with protesting

of course, i had this in mind:

"the self assertive shrillness of protest arises because the facts of incommensurability ensure that protesters can never win an argument; the indignant self-righteousness of protest arises because the facts of incommesurability ensure equally that the protesters can never lose an argument either. hence the utterance of protest is characteristically addressed to those who already share the protesters' premises. the effects of incommensurability ensure that protesters rarely have anyone else to talk to but themselves. this is not to say that protest cannot be effective; it is to say that it cannot be rationally effective and that its dominant modes of expression give evidence of a certain perhaps unconscious awareness of this."


yeaaaaaahhhhhhh macintyre.

0-4

putting sharpley in at the fourth ... we might as well have screamed "WE QUIT" to the world

i dont mind losing, i mean i hate it, but i can live
but giving up?

ive never felt more defeated in my life
we kept it together and could have done it

we're a young team, its going to be hard and we have a really rough schedule
they were ok, not great but ok

our coach gave up on us.
the team deserves more than that
the student section deserved WAY more

he gave up on all of us.

how can you know if virtue can be taught if you do not even know what virtue is?

Continued dialogue. Conversation. Sustained dialogue. Nothing.

we sit amongst ourselves and wax poetic on the evils and pitfalls of the modern world.
in the safety of our circles of friends, we conspire and dream.
how are we going to change the world
what everyone else is doing wrong
abortion
euthanasia
global warming
sexual violence
republicans democrats conservatives liberals psycho crazy deluded perverse evil

the labels we bestow upon ourselves and others keep us safe
protected by definition and absolutes, we do not need to look farther
we have the answers.
we know whats wrong and what is right

self definition
years decades centuries epochs of definitions continually constricting
incommensurability

divides that once were no more than scratches have deepened
the jugular is almost cut and western culture is bleeding to death

everything must be broken down
back to basics
before our wound can be healed


this healing cannot be forced
incommensurability must not be, cannot be destroyed through violence
arguments
hatred
suffering

[mutually assured destruction]

it must be overcome in love

we cannot know how to overcome it, without fully understanding it
we cannot fully understand it while simultaneously aggravating it
isolating ourselves
private dialogue

no matter how long your reach, this chasm is wider
if we do not first reach out to each other
we will fall off the cliff and join in the bloodbath

joined hands and minds


until we can find something so precious
so important
so beloved by all
that the risk of falling is worth the attempt to grasp

the chasms become deeper
the fall more devastating
and that unspeakable something, almost invisible the distance is so wide
will not only be passed over in silence
it will never be shown
it will fade into nothing




it must be shown


how


what is beloved by all
what is sought by all

the good life for man is a life spent in seeking the good life

the heart of Christianity lies in solidarity, not solitude


we must seek together
all
humanity

until the day the cherished something is not what unites us
we no longer reach out for ourselves
risking our lives to the fall
we reach past and aid our brother in grasping it as well
and to catch him if he slips along the way

which marvel superhero are you?

created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The Hulk, The product of a science experiment gone awry, Bruce Banner turns into the unstoppable green monster the "Hulk" whenever his temper rises. The more angry he gets, the stronger the Hulk becomes. Bruce travels the world, hoping to find a cure for the Hulk and bring his life back to normal. However, he often has to become the Hulk to save those he loves when danger threatens.

The Hulk

90%

Blade

80%

The Punisher

80%

Elektra

75%

Wolverine

70%

The Invisible Girl

70%

The Human Torch

65%

Cyclops

60%

Storm

60%

The Thing

55%

Mr. Fantastic

50%

Daredevil

50%

Spider-Man

40%



***********

i love this, apparently im a very angry person, cos im almost the punisher AND wolverine, and im prettymuch not spiderman at all.
was all, dangit, not batman? but yeah, i dont think he's marvel. in fact, he's DC

i think all in all i like DC more than marvel. i think.
i should look into it.







that's pretty sweet tho, huh.

guess who!

ok, the guy who's in both, right and left respectively. who does he look like?
hint: his initials are m.w. and he plays the organ and likes taking pictures of marmar

YEAH

so, obviously mark is somehow related to TEARS FOR FEARS (my newish obsession) and they are english and so is he and they're both musical and its so totally true.
i was very excited when i discovered this.


im also excited because i found a sweet, very rare, VERY cheap, TFF poster on ebay, and i got it for myself.
my room is looking gooood.

ok. im off.

you should listen to "woman in chains" -tff. youtube it or something.

ALSO, you know my pseudo friend "crowded house guy" that i IM with from time to time? well, he sent me some stuff from one of his friend's bands. it is brilliant. im truly obsessed. AND, they are touring with this ND grad right now, who puts on great shows, and they're coming to chicago in three weeks and im SUPER pumped. cos im going with christene and some of her crowd.
yeah, its been a good weekend.