07.07.2007
Aussie Stadium
Sydney, AU
08.04.2007
Calvin Theatre
Northampton, MA
08.05.2007
Bank of America Pavilion
Boston, MA
08.06.2007
Mann Center for Performing Arts
Philadelphia, PA
08.08.2007
Beacon Theatre
New York, NY
08.09.2007
Beacon Theatre
New York, NY
08.11.2007
St. Denis Theatre
Montreal, Qu
08.13.2007
Massey Hall
Toronto, On
08.14.2007
Michigan Theater
Ann Arbor, MI
08.17.2007
Pabst Theatre
Milwaukee, WI
08.18.2007
House Of Blues - Chicago
Chicago, IL
08.20.2007
Uptown Theater
Kansas City, MO
08.22.2007
The Fillmore Auditorium
Denver, CO
08.24.2007
Humphrey's By the Bay
San Diego, CA
08.25.2007
Santa Barbara Bowl
Santa Barbara, CA
08.26.2007
Oakland Paramount Theatre of the Arts
Oakland, CA
08.28.2007
Greek Theatre
Los Angeles, CA
08.29.2007
The Mountain Winery Amphitheatre
Saratoga, CA
08.30.2007
The Mountain Winery Amphitheatre
Saratoga, CA
09.01.2007
Bumbershoot Festival
Seattle, WA
09.02.2007
Portland Center for the Performing Arts - Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall
Portland, OR
i never miss them by more than 7 days.
i have listened to them avidly since i was a child of 11/12 years old.
i know the lyrics to almost every song on Recurring Dream: The Best of Crowded House
at least three of their songs makes me cry every time i hear them, due to overwhelming nostalgia and love
i propose that the family takes a road trip to drop off stevo, or at least myself and a parental unit so that i can see them in san diego or santa barbara and fly to school from LAX
OR jacquelyn and i road trip down
something
at some point i have to stop taking it, and say,
"enough is enough. this is completely ridiculous"
i will NOT let the universe sit back and laugh at me
i will beat the system
they are my love, and something must be done.
and yet i know that it wont work out ... and i wonder if thats why this keeps happening
i dont try hard enough
enough.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
ps
im also refering to how recent australian literature 'mirrors' changes in australian government and society, specifically globalization and more involvment in international issues
and thus when refering to authors addressing these issues, i talk about them using literature to 'reflect' the changes.
get it? literature is the mirror? authors use it to reflect??
... i must be more caffeine-wired than i realized.
and dont tell me that im not being original ... at least not until ive turned it in
in 8 hours.
YIKES
and thus when refering to authors addressing these issues, i talk about them using literature to 'reflect' the changes.
get it? literature is the mirror? authors use it to reflect??
... i must be more caffeine-wired than i realized.
and dont tell me that im not being original ... at least not until ive turned it in
in 8 hours.
YIKES
because i dont have anyone else to talk to ...
wheee!!! i just figured out what i think australian 'national literature' is all about!
ive been sitting at my computer for hours, looking up articles, trying to find SOMEONE who gives a concrete definition that i didnt think was rubbish, and was coming up blank for ... well forever. then i said "what the heck" and decided that my definition was as good as anyone elses.
except i didnt know what my definition was
then i did!
check it out:
... This ‘Australian legend’ became the ideal in which Australian postcolonial literature was immersed. ‘Post-colonialist’ literature refers to literature that deals with stereotypical postcolonial issues, such as identity and personal journeys through unknown/hostile environments.[1] According to Helen Gilbert and Joanne Tompkins, “A theory of post-colonialism must … respond to more than the merely chronological construction of post-independence, and to more than just the discursive experience of imperialism … colonized peoples respond to the colonial legacy by writing back to the center.”[2] In other words, in order to deal with the changes wrought by newfound independence, post-colonialists need to go back to the identity they had before colonists invaded. The problem with this is that Anglo-Australians never had an identity prior to colonization; their heritage was Britain. ****This is what I view as Australia’s ‘postcolonial challenge’: its national identity must be made ‘from scratch.’ Thus in this paper, Australian ‘national’ literature will be understood as postcolonial literature that is seeking a deeper understanding of ‘what it is to be’ Australian. ****
[1] Helen Gilbert, Joanne Tompkins, Post-Colonial Drama: Theory, Practice, Politics, Routledge 1996, p.11
[2] Ibid.
yeah, i think its awesome. and exciting. and *magically*, fits my paper beautifully!
(its cooler if you know the name of my class is "Australian Literature and the Post Colonial Challenge", and that our assignment has nothing to do with the issue of what exactly the 'challenge' is)
plus i just realized tonight that while writing papers at least, ive become freakishly uptight about dangling prepositions. i never used to care.
i also hate split infinitives, but am much worse at catching them, and tend to use them chronically.
ive been sitting at my computer for hours, looking up articles, trying to find SOMEONE who gives a concrete definition that i didnt think was rubbish, and was coming up blank for ... well forever. then i said "what the heck" and decided that my definition was as good as anyone elses.
except i didnt know what my definition was
then i did!
check it out:
... This ‘Australian legend’ became the ideal in which Australian postcolonial literature was immersed. ‘Post-colonialist’ literature refers to literature that deals with stereotypical postcolonial issues, such as identity and personal journeys through unknown/hostile environments.[1] According to Helen Gilbert and Joanne Tompkins, “A theory of post-colonialism must … respond to more than the merely chronological construction of post-independence, and to more than just the discursive experience of imperialism … colonized peoples respond to the colonial legacy by writing back to the center.”[2] In other words, in order to deal with the changes wrought by newfound independence, post-colonialists need to go back to the identity they had before colonists invaded. The problem with this is that Anglo-Australians never had an identity prior to colonization; their heritage was Britain. ****This is what I view as Australia’s ‘postcolonial challenge’: its national identity must be made ‘from scratch.’ Thus in this paper, Australian ‘national’ literature will be understood as postcolonial literature that is seeking a deeper understanding of ‘what it is to be’ Australian. ****
[1] Helen Gilbert, Joanne Tompkins, Post-Colonial Drama: Theory, Practice, Politics, Routledge 1996, p.11
[2] Ibid.
yeah, i think its awesome. and exciting. and *magically*, fits my paper beautifully!
(its cooler if you know the name of my class is "Australian Literature and the Post Colonial Challenge", and that our assignment has nothing to do with the issue of what exactly the 'challenge' is)
plus i just realized tonight that while writing papers at least, ive become freakishly uptight about dangling prepositions. i never used to care.
i also hate split infinitives, but am much worse at catching them, and tend to use them chronically.
Monday, May 28, 2007
oh yes
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!!!!!!!!
you're 35 now, right?
i would call, but i dont have minutes
i would email, but i dont have your address
i would comment on your blog, but you dont have one
psh.
hope it is glorious. love you immensely.
GOOD LUCK with the move. im thinking of you often.
you're 35 now, right?
i would call, but i dont have minutes
i would email, but i dont have your address
i would comment on your blog, but you dont have one
psh.
hope it is glorious. love you immensely.
GOOD LUCK with the move. im thinking of you often.
recent thoughts
i wrote these in my journal last thursday.
then i kept going back and thinking about them ... and i realized that i do not want to keep them for myself
they need to breathe somehow
so, apologies ahead of time if this comes across as narcissistic
that is not the intention
here they are:
[musings from lit tutorial]
you need to look death in the face to live - dessaix
"we are immortals, living in a mortal world" (lewis, i think)
-the only way to truly live life is as an immortal
and living this immortality is to be saturated with the awareness of death
if death was my reality
where would i go
who would i share it with
what are my regrets (kat's questions)
-this is supposed to be an exercises, placing yourself in the shoes of someone with a distinct expiration date
but isnt death supposed to be our reality always?
and isnt this what life is about?
making the choices of where our reality takes us
the relationships we choose to bring along our way
recognizing that although
"all things, and every manner of thing, shall be well" -dame julien/ts eliot
if we never have regrets, we are left with very little to grow from
or maybe thats wrong, there are always choices we wish we could take back
moments of repentance and reconciliation
but do we really regret them? they make you who you are
without these moments of failure, i would not be myself
to regret, to wish away different
i would be someone else
do i really want that?
O happy fall, etc
"life as a collection, not a series of splashes" -robert dessaix
narrative unity (macintyre)
the personal reality of death
a true sense of 'no regrets' while retaining contrition for wrongs done
we are not infancy, followed by childhood, adolescence, high school, university, grad school, marriage, etc
there must be unity ... uncertainty of the future, awareness of the past, our ancestors
all we know is what we are
live in this knowledge, not in fantasies of what the future brings
" Not fare well,
But fare forward, voyagers." -eliot (4Q: DS.III)
life is the journey between point A and point B ... and all the other points
it is not where we are going but how it is we get there
-its the journey
the difference between travelers and tourists
those that walk their own path and those that follow someone else's
-this is one of my favorite points from discussion.
[my Let Down moment]
the realization that this is how i think of australia
and this is what i have learned about myself
i have been a traveler and tourist for so long
but not since i have been here
this tranquility is not unique to australia or traveling abroad
its always existed, i just didnt see it ... ah!
seattle radiohead st. patricks byrd notre dame and australia
these have been mine
my travels
"hope is the certainty of Bliss" -night letters
that Bliss does exist, and we have the means to attain it
-of course. straight up baltimore cat
ive just become enamored with the word
Bliss
i think its an idea of which all of us are aware
and some to achieve bliss
but Bliss
this word makes the moments where
"the prospect of eternity becomes momentarily unbearable"
beautiful
"if life is to be beautiful
time must be transfigured" -night letters
not everything is linear
-beauty exists in the present
history ancestry culture
and the reality of death
lewis, macintyre come to mind again
" It seems, as one becomes older,
That the past has another pattern, and ceases to be a mere sequence—
Or even development: the latter a partial fallacy
Encouraged by superficial notions of evolution,
Which becomes, in the popular mind, a means of disowning the past." -eliot (4Q: DS.II)
where does religion fit?
the difference between organized religion and spirituality
-the books we are discussing are very spiritual
but reject organized religion
why?
the disjunction between separate unique paths
and following the train tracks ... the path of a dogma
-we are to be wild and wandering
not lemmings running to a social cliff
but religion, dogma is a paved road, isnt it?
(this is how they see it, and i realized, subconsciously, i had too)
how to reconcile?
everything said so far seems so true, so real
and it could basically be a commentary on the Four Quartets (thats what i was thinking at least)
so it MUST be true
but how do you travel
on a highway full of rush hour traffic
then i realized
[and this is my revelation]
the Faith is not a train track
not a paved road with signs
Faith
Faith is the hand
to pull you up when you stumble
while off the beaten path
of a best friend reminding you
who you are in a crowded street
of the lover mutually experiencing
the solitary beauty of a moonlit beach
Faith is not the travel [tourist] guide
she is the companion
"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."
-eliot (4Q: LG.V)
who could have predicted that my australian literature class would help me live the four quartets and radiohead?
it barks at no-one else but me
like it's seen a ghost
i guess it's seen the sparks a'flowin
no one else would know
hey man, slow down, slow down, slow down
--radiohead, the tourist
EDIT: i realize that this isnt terribly well written or anything revolutionary
in fact, its all fairly obvious
its just when i have a harder than usual *duh* headslap
i get excited
and like to share
especially when it all comes down to eliot
... the four quartets continue to amaze and humble me
then i kept going back and thinking about them ... and i realized that i do not want to keep them for myself
they need to breathe somehow
so, apologies ahead of time if this comes across as narcissistic
that is not the intention
here they are:
[musings from lit tutorial]
you need to look death in the face to live - dessaix
"we are immortals, living in a mortal world" (lewis, i think)
-the only way to truly live life is as an immortal
and living this immortality is to be saturated with the awareness of death
if death was my reality
where would i go
who would i share it with
what are my regrets (kat's questions)
-this is supposed to be an exercises, placing yourself in the shoes of someone with a distinct expiration date
but isnt death supposed to be our reality always?
and isnt this what life is about?
making the choices of where our reality takes us
the relationships we choose to bring along our way
recognizing that although
"all things, and every manner of thing, shall be well" -dame julien/ts eliot
if we never have regrets, we are left with very little to grow from
or maybe thats wrong, there are always choices we wish we could take back
moments of repentance and reconciliation
but do we really regret them? they make you who you are
without these moments of failure, i would not be myself
to regret, to wish away different
i would be someone else
do i really want that?
O happy fall, etc
"life as a collection, not a series of splashes" -robert dessaix
narrative unity (macintyre)
the personal reality of death
a true sense of 'no regrets' while retaining contrition for wrongs done
we are not infancy, followed by childhood, adolescence, high school, university, grad school, marriage, etc
there must be unity ... uncertainty of the future, awareness of the past, our ancestors
all we know is what we are
live in this knowledge, not in fantasies of what the future brings
" Not fare well,
But fare forward, voyagers." -eliot (4Q: DS.III)
life is the journey between point A and point B ... and all the other points
it is not where we are going but how it is we get there
-its the journey
the difference between travelers and tourists
those that walk their own path and those that follow someone else's
-this is one of my favorite points from discussion.
[my Let Down moment]
the realization that this is how i think of australia
and this is what i have learned about myself
i have been a traveler and tourist for so long
but not since i have been here
this tranquility is not unique to australia or traveling abroad
its always existed, i just didnt see it ... ah!
seattle radiohead st. patricks byrd notre dame and australia
these have been mine
my travels
"hope is the certainty of Bliss" -night letters
that Bliss does exist, and we have the means to attain it
-of course. straight up baltimore cat
ive just become enamored with the word
Bliss
i think its an idea of which all of us are aware
and some to achieve bliss
but Bliss
this word makes the moments where
"the prospect of eternity becomes momentarily unbearable"
beautiful
"if life is to be beautiful
time must be transfigured" -night letters
not everything is linear
-beauty exists in the present
history ancestry culture
and the reality of death
lewis, macintyre come to mind again
" It seems, as one becomes older,
That the past has another pattern, and ceases to be a mere sequence—
Or even development: the latter a partial fallacy
Encouraged by superficial notions of evolution,
Which becomes, in the popular mind, a means of disowning the past." -eliot (4Q: DS.II)
where does religion fit?
the difference between organized religion and spirituality
-the books we are discussing are very spiritual
but reject organized religion
why?
the disjunction between separate unique paths
and following the train tracks ... the path of a dogma
-we are to be wild and wandering
not lemmings running to a social cliff
but religion, dogma is a paved road, isnt it?
(this is how they see it, and i realized, subconsciously, i had too)
how to reconcile?
everything said so far seems so true, so real
and it could basically be a commentary on the Four Quartets (thats what i was thinking at least)
so it MUST be true
but how do you travel
on a highway full of rush hour traffic
then i realized
[and this is my revelation]
the Faith is not a train track
not a paved road with signs
Faith
Faith is the hand
to pull you up when you stumble
while off the beaten path
of a best friend reminding you
who you are in a crowded street
of the lover mutually experiencing
the solitary beauty of a moonlit beach
Faith is not the travel [tourist] guide
she is the companion
"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."
-eliot (4Q: LG.V)
who could have predicted that my australian literature class would help me live the four quartets and radiohead?
it barks at no-one else but me
like it's seen a ghost
i guess it's seen the sparks a'flowin
no one else would know
hey man, slow down, slow down, slow down
--radiohead, the tourist
EDIT: i realize that this isnt terribly well written or anything revolutionary
in fact, its all fairly obvious
its just when i have a harder than usual *duh* headslap
i get excited
and like to share
especially when it all comes down to eliot
... the four quartets continue to amaze and humble me
Thursday, May 24, 2007
pirrrrraaaaattteeeeesssss
ive seen POTC3! and because i went in with staggeringly low expectations, i was highly, thoouroughly amused.
will and elizabeth are as annoying as ever, but *i* think will redeems himself by becoming very ... well, easy on the eyes in the last 15 minutes ... if you catch my drift
and elizabeth ... well, jack puts it best:
(to will) "will you tell me something? have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressing damsel? er... rather damsel in distress? ... either one."
and there is an, ah, highly highly amusing attempt at a braveheart/gladiator/henryV/ID4 type rally round the flag/rouse the troops speach, which left zach, steve, and myself in complete hysterics (it was supposed to be moving ... i think, but it worked well as high comedy)
but honestly, i was impressed. very impressed.
oh yes, the first whole sequence with jack .... well, either the writers were on acid, or johnny depp wrote it. it was easily the trippiest movie experience ive been through in ages.
and keith richards! ah! yes!
what else.
OH YEAH
for a while my favourite part of the whole thing was the order of the pheonix preview. i was SO excited, and freaked out completely. it looks SO GOOD. i mean, protentially the best of the films so far. and if the film itself even comes near the intensity of the trailer, im going to be bawling by the end.
complete emotional mess.
speaking of, im assuming we are following the code and mama is going to read aloud the Death Hallows (is that the name?) this summer. cos if not, i call dibs. (ill bet 20 bucks with anyone who thinks im not going to, that i cry at the end ... i dont even care HOW it ends, ill just be a wreak they're over ... ='/)
ok, something non film related
i have been immersing myself in research about the iranian revolution (79) for the past few days, and not having phone minutes to call you is getting exceedingly vexing.
i keep getting on gmail to see if papa or catherine is online so i can tell you to call me, cos there's no point in telling you vauge times ahead of time cos i never have any idea where ill be (aka library, class, walking (usually cant hear my phone then))
basically, ive been discovering alot of stuff i probably already knew, but obviously didnt retain, and ive been getting more than usually disenchanted with politics and governments
everything is ridiculous, everyone is horribly corrupt, and everytime there's some political movement to enact reform and change, it ends up just getting 10x worse
(did you know we funded iraq during the iraq-iran war, AND we funded iran??? and israel sent iraq and iran weapons, and they help other people, and basically EVERYONE is helping someone else blow something up, and its so circular and hypocritical (given official stances by the government) that in the end its next to impossible to figure out what on EARTH is/was really going on?)
AND did you realize that you can read all the declassified CIA documents online? they're all in this database. you can search by year, code names, operations, general keywords ... its completely addicting, and i dont even like this stuff. (!)
oh yeah
did you know we gave iraq 5 billion dollars during the iran-iraq war?
FIVE BILLION BUCKS
BILLION!?!?!?
i mean, thats just alot of money to be tossing around. on top of the chemical and biological agents of course. which came with the means to weaponize them.
from us. the US.
i mean, i know i know we arent perfect and everyone makes mistakes, but im starting to think that its as morally dangerous to become a politician as a lawyer.
sure it is possible to be both a good person and a politician/lawyer, but its highly unlikely you will suceed.
its a job that entails lying, and glorifies compromise.
compromise
the queen of virtues in the world of politics.
higher than tolerance and belief in the absence of moral absolutes.
hmm.
prudence vs compromise
... that would be an interesting essay
not going to lie, talking about pirates and harry potter is much more uplifting
sigh
will and elizabeth are as annoying as ever, but *i* think will redeems himself by becoming very ... well, easy on the eyes in the last 15 minutes ... if you catch my drift
and elizabeth ... well, jack puts it best:
(to will) "will you tell me something? have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressing damsel? er... rather damsel in distress? ... either one."
and there is an, ah, highly highly amusing attempt at a braveheart/gladiator/henryV/ID4 type rally round the flag/rouse the troops speach, which left zach, steve, and myself in complete hysterics (it was supposed to be moving ... i think, but it worked well as high comedy)
but honestly, i was impressed. very impressed.
oh yes, the first whole sequence with jack .... well, either the writers were on acid, or johnny depp wrote it. it was easily the trippiest movie experience ive been through in ages.
and keith richards! ah! yes!
what else.
OH YEAH
for a while my favourite part of the whole thing was the order of the pheonix preview. i was SO excited, and freaked out completely. it looks SO GOOD. i mean, protentially the best of the films so far. and if the film itself even comes near the intensity of the trailer, im going to be bawling by the end.
complete emotional mess.
speaking of, im assuming we are following the code and mama is going to read aloud the Death Hallows (is that the name?) this summer. cos if not, i call dibs. (ill bet 20 bucks with anyone who thinks im not going to, that i cry at the end ... i dont even care HOW it ends, ill just be a wreak they're over ... ='/)
ok, something non film related
i have been immersing myself in research about the iranian revolution (79) for the past few days, and not having phone minutes to call you is getting exceedingly vexing.
i keep getting on gmail to see if papa or catherine is online so i can tell you to call me, cos there's no point in telling you vauge times ahead of time cos i never have any idea where ill be (aka library, class, walking (usually cant hear my phone then))
basically, ive been discovering alot of stuff i probably already knew, but obviously didnt retain, and ive been getting more than usually disenchanted with politics and governments
everything is ridiculous, everyone is horribly corrupt, and everytime there's some political movement to enact reform and change, it ends up just getting 10x worse
(did you know we funded iraq during the iraq-iran war, AND we funded iran??? and israel sent iraq and iran weapons, and they help other people, and basically EVERYONE is helping someone else blow something up, and its so circular and hypocritical (given official stances by the government) that in the end its next to impossible to figure out what on EARTH is/was really going on?)
AND did you realize that you can read all the declassified CIA documents online? they're all in this database. you can search by year, code names, operations, general keywords ... its completely addicting, and i dont even like this stuff. (!)
oh yeah
did you know we gave iraq 5 billion dollars during the iran-iraq war?
FIVE BILLION BUCKS
BILLION!?!?!?
i mean, thats just alot of money to be tossing around. on top of the chemical and biological agents of course. which came with the means to weaponize them.
from us. the US.
i mean, i know i know we arent perfect and everyone makes mistakes, but im starting to think that its as morally dangerous to become a politician as a lawyer.
sure it is possible to be both a good person and a politician/lawyer, but its highly unlikely you will suceed.
its a job that entails lying, and glorifies compromise.
compromise
the queen of virtues in the world of politics.
higher than tolerance and belief in the absence of moral absolutes.
hmm.
prudence vs compromise
... that would be an interesting essay
not going to lie, talking about pirates and harry potter is much more uplifting
sigh
Friday, May 18, 2007
woof
yeah, i pulled *another* all nighter last night
the really really annoying thing is i was really exicted because initially i was going to be going to bed by 3 at the latest
THEN
i realized that i was going about my paper the completely wrong way, and at midnight had to delete everything i had written
(essentially half my paper)
and start ALL over again, new outline new everything
so i was up all night till 830, went to class and did some more reading,finding good quotes etc
then i skipped the second half of class cos it was just a documentary on the effects of vietnam on the vets
(i talked to people who stayed for it later, apparently it was 45min of old men crying)
wrote some more, went to my tutorial
wrote some more
FINNISHED
did a word count and i had 3,107 words
its a 1,500 word paper
DANGIT
so i spent about an hour and half trying to cut it down, but honestly everything i had to say was relevant
and i eventually got it down to 2,700
spaced it at 1.5 instead of 2 and am hoping for the best
im just annoyed, because the entire time i was researching it, i kept going back and forth on what my thesis was
so i really think its the worst paper ive ever written
and im really really mad about that
i know, if i had started it sooner, maybe it would have been better, more concise
but i dunno, i talked to the lady who's grading them, and shes really awesome
basically said as long as i made an argument and backed it up id be fine
and i did, it was just a fairly long and qualified thesis
SO
yes, can you tell im stil upset about this?
britt and cj keep yelling at me to stop thinking about it
ill get all quiet and in my own world, i get mad at them, saying that "HEY! how dod you know im thinking about the paper? i could be thinking about anything!"
of course they're right, i should just let it go
but MAN its just so frustrating
oh well, i guess we'll see
i really really hate it though.
grrrrr. must go back to bed and forget about it.
the really really annoying thing is i was really exicted because initially i was going to be going to bed by 3 at the latest
THEN
i realized that i was going about my paper the completely wrong way, and at midnight had to delete everything i had written
(essentially half my paper)
and start ALL over again, new outline new everything
so i was up all night till 830, went to class and did some more reading,finding good quotes etc
then i skipped the second half of class cos it was just a documentary on the effects of vietnam on the vets
(i talked to people who stayed for it later, apparently it was 45min of old men crying)
wrote some more, went to my tutorial
wrote some more
FINNISHED
did a word count and i had 3,107 words
its a 1,500 word paper
DANGIT
so i spent about an hour and half trying to cut it down, but honestly everything i had to say was relevant
and i eventually got it down to 2,700
spaced it at 1.5 instead of 2 and am hoping for the best
im just annoyed, because the entire time i was researching it, i kept going back and forth on what my thesis was
so i really think its the worst paper ive ever written
and im really really mad about that
i know, if i had started it sooner, maybe it would have been better, more concise
but i dunno, i talked to the lady who's grading them, and shes really awesome
basically said as long as i made an argument and backed it up id be fine
and i did, it was just a fairly long and qualified thesis
SO
yes, can you tell im stil upset about this?
britt and cj keep yelling at me to stop thinking about it
ill get all quiet and in my own world, i get mad at them, saying that "HEY! how dod you know im thinking about the paper? i could be thinking about anything!"
of course they're right, i should just let it go
but MAN its just so frustrating
oh well, i guess we'll see
i really really hate it though.
grrrrr. must go back to bed and forget about it.
Monday, May 14, 2007
watch out, this is a rant
so we watched this in class today. at first i found it mildly amusing, then interesting, then freakishly annoying, then i just got plain mad.
if you can find it on youtube or something, maybe netflix, you should watch it.
basically it was postulating that terror threats are a neo-conservative fiction based in the philosophy of leo strauss, initiated with the cold war, all in an effort to create fear in the american public so they would rally round the flag and become good moral citizens or something like that.
like, there was no threat from the soviet union, the CIA proved this in the mid 70s, rumsfeld etc knew they were wrong, and decided that since the CIA could find no evidence of weapons, they must have developed ways to avoid the CIAs detection thingys and whatnot. then runsfeld etc convinced the naive and nice president regan that he must DO SOMETHING, because there was this REALLY BAD threat, and regan didnt want to for a while, but eventually was convinced there was this really bad threat, and voila, the neo-cons have achieved their objective, the US was consumed with fear which would unite them as a whole, and turn them from their individualist liberal satanic ways. yipee!
yeah, thats pretty much what it said. terrorism is a fiction created by the US political thinkers because they're psycho, and they use fear to control the public.
for me the brutal irony that no one else was picking up on was that the tenor of the entire piece was cynical and stylized, like this weird music and a narrator thats like cousins with the CSImiami redheaded guy. so when it ended, all these kids are like, "omg! that is so scary, i had no idea the government is so manipulative" etc etc.
so we're leaving and this one girl is like, "ah! arent you so scared right now??"
i just started laughing, and was like "you realize what you're saying dont you? the entire piece was about how freaked out we need to be because we got duped into freaking out by the neocons .... right?"
" ... yeah ..."
"please tell me you see the irony?"
" ... oh ... yeah ... i guess ... but its all true, i mean they were citing evidence and facts"
GAH what is wrong with people? how is it that they dont understand that there is factual evidence for statistics and events? but that when it comes to motivations and theories, everything is based on perception, and this was from the freaking BBC?! of COURSE they're going to have majorly skewed perceptions, and its even more warped because of 30 years of haze building up on their mental lenses.
again. i say GAH.
i basically ended up going on a rant about how pieces like that are exactly why i HATE politics so much. because everyone is out for themselves, its all about self justification or affirmation.
its stupid. its hypocritical. its a waste.
yeah, im feeling bitter and cynical.
i should watch 300 again, get me all going for sparta at least.
towards the end i was mostly just wondering how catherine would react to watching the idiot thing. if she would have been able to watch the entire thing without storming out of the room, or watch it and be able to talk about it coherently with the rest of the wide eyed class.
i mean COMMON. you're going to sit there and listen to what the BBC is telling you and take it without question? if you were going to learn ANYTHING from that thing it should have been to not trust ANYbody, question everything, and quit accepting whats being spoon fed to you by the media and take the time to investigate things yourself if you really care that much.
GAAAAAHHHHH.
yeah, ill calm down later, im just annoyed by how stupid people are.
but then again i was watching it and thinking about how much emotion and personality had been absorbed into the piece, from the people who made it and the people who were watching it.
and i thought about dying and if it would matter at all then, if the USSR really was planning to invade or not, if iran has nukes or not, if iraq ever had wmds or FDR really did know about pearl harbor.
i think not.
i guess we're all just doing the best we can, huh.
when God got ticked off at david, it was for fooling around with bathsheba, not because he was at war with the ammonites in the first place.
i guess in the end im just not interested in the reasons why a country's being run the way its running ... just more concerned that the people running it are good people .... that sounds so lame, but i cant think of another way to phrase it at the moment.
maybe its because i tend to think about things in metaphysical terms ... politics can seem so vapid.
ha, but i guess i do too. oh well. whatchagonna do.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
im baaaaaaaaaacckk
hey! ok, well yeah, i guess i dont even have that much to talk about
im taking a break from researching my history paper. its only going to be around 1500 words, but i already have a ridiculous amount of source material. im going to be talking about how australian film may or may not mirror the real experiences of australians at war (read: of course they dont), and how movies like breaker morant and gallipoli are historical fictions rather than true stories, and they were created to deliberately form a national image and identity that australians can rightfully be proud of, instead of the previous stereotype of the drunken, misogynistic, idiot that kinda dominated australian films in the past.
did you know that alot of aus film is controlled by the government, or was at least, and movies like gallipoli and breaker were funded by the government to help clean up the stereotypes? i mean, both films were based on reality as far as the public and directors were concerned, i guess there was just allot of propaganda or something going on during the wars, so the aus troops may actually have been less than pristine, and instead of getting blasted to pieces because england hated them, it might have been because, well, they actually werent very good soldiers ... ouch.
five months ago i would have been outraged by the suggestion, but honestly, from what ive learned these past months ... i wouldnt be surprised. this is a very different country than i thought it was.
please dont get me wrong, i still love it dearly, but there's a fairly entrenched immaturity to the place, and their english roots go far deeper than i realized.
i guess it makes sense. they were founded as a penal colony, sure, but the majority of the migrants i guess seriously considered themselves as going to a british colony. they wanted to be attached to england, they fought in multiple wars for england, only because of england.
it wasnt until the 80s that they got their own national anthem for petes sake. most still like thier archaic allegiance to the queen. they WANT TO BE BRIT BABIES!
i guess i always thought of australia as a different sort of US, common bond being, both were attempted british colonies, but by gum, we got our way and look at us now! brit free and loving it!
not so much.
they're brats about immigration, had a white australia policy that completely persecuted any non-glowing white ethnicity until the SEVENTIES (like, even greeks and italians. if you werent anglo-australian, you were no good), and so so much of their culture reeks of "previously owned british colony"
we were talking about this in class actually, the problems aus has with racism and immigration, and my prof asked the abroad students if we thought it was much different than the US, or was it about the same
i ended up throwing in my two cents, and everyone agreed with me, and the australian students were slightly offended i think. it was something like
"well, actually, while there definitely are racial problems in the states, the whole immigration thing i dont really get here, and i have to admit, its emphasized for me the differences between the US and AUS that i didnt really appreciate before coming here. i guess its just that AUS clung to the idea of being a british colony for so long, and valued that mentality, and its only been in the last 30 years or so that you've started to break away. meanwhile, the US decided that it wanted to distinctly separate herself from england pretty much off the bat, and embraced a truly "melting pot" mentality to immigration ... i mean, we wanted to form a country where anyone, no matter what, could come and make a life for themselves. of course we've had our problems, and our hypocrisies, but at least thats what the ideal always was. we want and from our founding documents embrace diversity ... australia ... not so much"
but yeah, its true.
now im getting all goosebumpy and bright eyed thinking of the statue of liberty.
good grief im a basket case sometimes.
cos i guess that means allot to me. i mean, yeah, you can have the movies or books or cnn exposes on how racist and bad and hypocritical we are, showing the statue and monuments and whatnot to show how everything is for show, and make sure we all pick up on the cynicism, and yeah, sometimes the hypocrisy gets to me. but i guess the point is, at least we have an ideal, and all of us in our own way are striving for it. australia is still trying to figure out their ideal for themselves, and they arent doing the best job of it.
sorry, im being very abstract and vague. these are just thoughts that've been puttering around my head for a while.
ANYWAYS the reason you should be excited that im researching my paper NOW is because its not due for another week, and in estherland thats unheard of! of course, it wouldnt be happening if i didnt have TWO 2500word papers due the monday after this one, but still, im proud of me.
um ... you probably got the mesg i left on catheines blog, but i got my theatre and cinema paper back and got an HD! i was surprised surprised. followed immediately by wrath, because honestly, our prof lady was telling the class how there were tons of passes and credits because they didnt research enough, or focused too much on one thing and not another, and that there werent very many HDs. of course, i was freaking out, positive i got a pass or credit or something (Ds to low Bs), but i got mine back, did well, and after checking out with everyone else, was relieved because all the notre dame kids got HDs. we ALL get HDs all the time! honestly, if you were to take the top 5, heck 1% of this school, (2500 total), i would place allot of money that all the notre dame kids were in there. and im not trying to be cocky, i swear, its just so aggravating, because the history department hates us SO much, they think we're all slackers and terrible people, and good grief! we are doing phenomenally well here. we take more classes than any of the australians (people take 3 or 4 units at a time here), and we excel. the only class that allot of people arent excelling in so far?
history
the class that only has abroad students in it. i honestly think its because they're trying to make a point about how hard it is to do well here. but thats absurd! we're doing better than all of the australians in our other classes, and i think allot of people would do better in history if we werent being treated so badly by the profs.
well, thats harsh. there is one lady prof whos really awesome, she leads my tutorial, i love her. and she loves us and is super sweet. but everyone else treats us like second graders who have discipline issues.
*rant over*
thats been vexing. but yeah, other than randomly getting really upset about stuff like that, ive been doing great. my other classes are awesome ... well, we'll see how really awesome after i get my poli sci papers back, im extremely nervous about those. i just dont get poltics. arg.
i talked to kate online, she IS going to be at TAC this summer, and i havent confirmed, but im hoping i can stay with her. oh yes, i never got john daley's email, so i havent asked them officially if i can stay yet.
um, what else. works been going OK. i mean, it pays fine, i just get frustrated with how slow moving everyone is. im looking forward to the fish place again =)
i got a hair cut! it was a great experience. the hairdresser lady used to live in wales, moved here two years ago with husband and kids, HATES it, and listening to her rant about all the things that drive her up the wall was cracking me up. basically, fremantle is a fantabulous place to visit, and stay for a time. but i dont think i could do more than a semester. if i were to live here, it would have to be in melbourne or sydney or something like that. i love being able to get away from the city, but deep down, i love being around a big city more. or if i was to live away from the city, i would want to be AWAY. like in the kimberlies ... sigh.
i could live there for a while. they have a grave need for teachers. im looking into things, just a heads up.
yeah, i think thats more it actually. its not that i dont like australia, i just dont think i could handle living in urban WA. but we'll see how the east coast fairs when i visit (!)
aight, i should go watch gallipoli. *sigh* so much work to do, have to go watch mel gibson ... hee hee
but yeah, ill put up pictures when i figure out how (my computer is being retarded at the moment - im in a computer cluster)
love you all, hopefully talk to you soooon
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