IN RAINBOWS

from deadairspace.com

Hello everyone.

Well, the new album is finished, and it's coming out in 10 days;

We've called it In Rainbows. (http://www.inrainbows.com)

Love from us all.

Jonny

**********

i found out from iain about 20minutes after he found out, we freaked out mutually for a little bit, then parted ways to spread the good news.
a subdued stevo knows, told marmar, was going to call home but gerd called right then, and so i informed him as well

ive been writing notes, and posting and pretty much telling anyone i can think of
this is the best news since ... well, since a LONG time, and im am STOKED

its going to be phenomenal, absolutely glorious beautiful
ive stopped shaking
but
i feel like im glowing



rain after the longest drought
rain
rain brings rainbows


["In Rainbows" -Radiohead, released October 10, 2007]

hey everyone

take this!


http://www.politicalcompass.org/

my political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -4.62
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.51

i still dont get what it means, but im somewhere near gandhi ... it probably would have helped if i knew anything about globalization probably. and some of the questions are weirdly phrased and such, but it is funny, esp when they place current world leaders

aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight im out

YES

Your results:
You are Supergirl

Supergirl 68% Spider-Man 65% Green Lantern 65% Hulk 65% Superman 60% The Flash 60% Iron Man 60% Robin 58% Wonder Woman 53% Batman 40% Catwoman 30%

Lean, muscular and feminine. Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz




i finally found a superhero quiz where im a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!
and supergirl at that, aweeesome

a-jad

yeah, i read pretty much everything in usa today, the ny times, and nro on the shindig at colombia.
what a mess.

however, what struck me most was this quote from usa today:

"In 1933, there was a fascist called Adolf Hitler," said Rachmael Benhaim, a 40-year-old psychologist from Queens who took time off from work to participate in the rally. "If people had protested against him, 6 million Jews would be alive … and World War II would not have happened. The lesson we learned is people have to come out and protest before things happen."


protesting ... our culture and its pathetic obsession with protesting

of course, i had this in mind:

"the self assertive shrillness of protest arises because the facts of incommensurability ensure that protesters can never win an argument; the indignant self-righteousness of protest arises because the facts of incommesurability ensure equally that the protesters can never lose an argument either. hence the utterance of protest is characteristically addressed to those who already share the protesters' premises. the effects of incommensurability ensure that protesters rarely have anyone else to talk to but themselves. this is not to say that protest cannot be effective; it is to say that it cannot be rationally effective and that its dominant modes of expression give evidence of a certain perhaps unconscious awareness of this."


yeaaaaaahhhhhhh macintyre.

0-4

putting sharpley in at the fourth ... we might as well have screamed "WE QUIT" to the world

i dont mind losing, i mean i hate it, but i can live
but giving up?

ive never felt more defeated in my life
we kept it together and could have done it

we're a young team, its going to be hard and we have a really rough schedule
they were ok, not great but ok

our coach gave up on us.
the team deserves more than that
the student section deserved WAY more

he gave up on all of us.

how can you know if virtue can be taught if you do not even know what virtue is?

Continued dialogue. Conversation. Sustained dialogue. Nothing.

we sit amongst ourselves and wax poetic on the evils and pitfalls of the modern world.
in the safety of our circles of friends, we conspire and dream.
how are we going to change the world
what everyone else is doing wrong
abortion
euthanasia
global warming
sexual violence
republicans democrats conservatives liberals psycho crazy deluded perverse evil

the labels we bestow upon ourselves and others keep us safe
protected by definition and absolutes, we do not need to look farther
we have the answers.
we know whats wrong and what is right

self definition
years decades centuries epochs of definitions continually constricting
incommensurability

divides that once were no more than scratches have deepened
the jugular is almost cut and western culture is bleeding to death

everything must be broken down
back to basics
before our wound can be healed


this healing cannot be forced
incommensurability must not be, cannot be destroyed through violence
arguments
hatred
suffering

[mutually assured destruction]

it must be overcome in love

we cannot know how to overcome it, without fully understanding it
we cannot fully understand it while simultaneously aggravating it
isolating ourselves
private dialogue

no matter how long your reach, this chasm is wider
if we do not first reach out to each other
we will fall off the cliff and join in the bloodbath

joined hands and minds


until we can find something so precious
so important
so beloved by all
that the risk of falling is worth the attempt to grasp

the chasms become deeper
the fall more devastating
and that unspeakable something, almost invisible the distance is so wide
will not only be passed over in silence
it will never be shown
it will fade into nothing




it must be shown


how


what is beloved by all
what is sought by all

the good life for man is a life spent in seeking the good life

the heart of Christianity lies in solidarity, not solitude


we must seek together
all
humanity

until the day the cherished something is not what unites us
we no longer reach out for ourselves
risking our lives to the fall
we reach past and aid our brother in grasping it as well
and to catch him if he slips along the way

which marvel superhero are you?

created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The Hulk, The product of a science experiment gone awry, Bruce Banner turns into the unstoppable green monster the "Hulk" whenever his temper rises. The more angry he gets, the stronger the Hulk becomes. Bruce travels the world, hoping to find a cure for the Hulk and bring his life back to normal. However, he often has to become the Hulk to save those he loves when danger threatens.

The Hulk

90%

Blade

80%

The Punisher

80%

Elektra

75%

Wolverine

70%

The Invisible Girl

70%

The Human Torch

65%

Cyclops

60%

Storm

60%

The Thing

55%

Mr. Fantastic

50%

Daredevil

50%

Spider-Man

40%



***********

i love this, apparently im a very angry person, cos im almost the punisher AND wolverine, and im prettymuch not spiderman at all.
was all, dangit, not batman? but yeah, i dont think he's marvel. in fact, he's DC

i think all in all i like DC more than marvel. i think.
i should look into it.







that's pretty sweet tho, huh.

guess who!

ok, the guy who's in both, right and left respectively. who does he look like?
hint: his initials are m.w. and he plays the organ and likes taking pictures of marmar

YEAH

so, obviously mark is somehow related to TEARS FOR FEARS (my newish obsession) and they are english and so is he and they're both musical and its so totally true.
i was very excited when i discovered this.


im also excited because i found a sweet, very rare, VERY cheap, TFF poster on ebay, and i got it for myself.
my room is looking gooood.

ok. im off.

you should listen to "woman in chains" -tff. youtube it or something.

ALSO, you know my pseudo friend "crowded house guy" that i IM with from time to time? well, he sent me some stuff from one of his friend's bands. it is brilliant. im truly obsessed. AND, they are touring with this ND grad right now, who puts on great shows, and they're coming to chicago in three weeks and im SUPER pumped. cos im going with christene and some of her crowd.
yeah, its been a good weekend.

memories

how long do you mourn before it is time to move on?
yesterday ginna was really frustrated because there was not an all-school campus mass at the basilica scheduled for today
i tried to soothe her, pointing out that it has been six years after all, and at some point we need to move on, we dont memorialize pearl harbour still after all

then i woke up this morning at 845, i lay in bed for a minute thinking about how i really didnt want to wake up, and eventually noticed in my sleepdrugged state that the bell of the basilica was ringing, slowly, like it does when there is a funeral on campus
at first i was confused, then i remembered the date, and was even more confused and irritated because i thought at first they got the time wrong - it was 546am that the towers were hit
and 630am when i found out -i wont ever forget that

of course, then i realized that im on the east coast for time ... it actually was right

so i lay in bed for 10 minutes, listening to the bells
noticing that the light at that time is so beautiful
and that six years ago it was another perfect beautiful day
until new york, dc, and pittsburgh became hells

i hate thinking about 9/11 and i still cannot watch footage from the 11th -13th
but listening to those deep slow bells, i couldnt help it
and tears flooded back with the memories

so when i got to the dining hall for breakfast, opened up the campus paper, and saw nothing
absolutely nothing
i became enraged

this country has started to either ignore the day, or turn it into the official anti-war day
i hate that people use today to push the war, or cry out against it

for me, this is still a day of mourning
-not to be contaminated with political agendas-
i, myself, have not moved on
and am still deeply bothered by memories of six years ago
i watched tv all day long
and before they fell i watched human beings jumping out of burning towers
a nation watched them fall like rag dolls
it was the most horrific thing i had, and have, ever seen
and we saw people become buried alive when the second tower fell

i was a country length away, but i was there
and i couldnt do anything
and that impotence stays with me still as i wonder how long will i have to mourn before i can heal from that

and i know that if i feel this way, millions of others must as well.
the towers were not landmarks for me
i have never even seen the pentagon
ive never walked in the fields outside of pittsburgh

no one i know died.


but this day is an agony, and my own school does nothing
nothing besides a peace rally/prayer service by the war memorial
and they dont even want peace
not true Peace
they want to make a statement

they want their voices to be heard

and i dont know how to deal with that
how can you want to speak,
when hearing is drowned in the cacaphony of 2,819 voices crying out to heaven

3,015 children who lost a parent


no, we are not ready to forget
like it or not, we are still, deeply, in mourning
i guess in a way, we do and always have "moved on"
keep going
... so i dont know when enough is enough
when it is appropriate to stop the memorials
not anytime soon for me
as a nation?
no, its still too near ... perhaps by the time the last firefighter who risked his life has passed on
perhaps then
for myself, when i can watch the towers fall and keep it together
maybe


for the now though

In paradisum deducant te Angeli; in tuo adventu suscipiant te martyres, et perducant te in civitatem sanctam Ierusalem. Chorus angelorum te suscipiat, et cum Lazaro quondam paupere æternam habeas requiem.

-we, who are undefeated
because we have gone on trying ...

quotes

picture of the day:(down is the new up, don't ya know)

so
im supposed to be looking up "motivational" quotes for this post board that people put the names of people who did nice things for them in the library. im finding it harder than it should be, seeing that i cant stand most things that are used motivationally. or just quotes in general like, i just looked up a bunch by eliot, and there are so many there that sound all deep and catchy by themselves, but knowing where they come from and their context, its so ridiculous that they've been quotized "humankind cannot bear very much reality" does that make ANY sense outside of context? does it? stupid. anyways, as i go on, im going to throw ones up here that catch my eye, but probably wont be too motivational : -O

"it's strange that words are so inadequate. yet, like the asthmatic struggling for breath, so the lover must struggle for words."
ts eliot

(unless you're lord peter)

"because philosophy arises from awe, a philosopher is bound in his way to be a lover of myths and poetic fables. poets and philosophers are alike in being big with wonder."
sir thomas aquinas

(sir! SIR!! gotta love stupid people.)

"i wonder anybody does anything at oxford but dream and remember, the place is so beautiful. one almost expects the people to sing instead of speaking. it is all like an opera."
yeats

(i dont care if he was a neo-pythagorea pantheist. im in love with yeats)

"the earth laughs in flowers."
ee cummings

(this made me think of mama)

Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always
been the two most beautiful words in the English language.
henry james

(summer afternoon or cellar door ... gotta say, summer afternoon)


aaannnnnnddddddd!!!!!! just so you know, these are the ones i picked out for the post board thingy after four hours of searching ... well, with frequent breaks to look up grad school information, and desperately trying to find an appropriate radiohead quote, which of course failed, but wouldnt it have been hysterical? so i settled for finding apropos thingys from people i love instead, and some i dont even know but looked cliche enough:

“For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.”
T. S. Eliot

“There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.”
Gilbert K. Chesterton

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”
Michelangelo

”And say my glory was I had such friends.”
William Butler Yeats

“The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful.“
e. e. cummings

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon--instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.”

Dale Carnegie

"Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces up, snow is exhilarating; there is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather."-- John Ruskin

"The kindest thing you can do for the people you care about is to become a happy, joyous person." Brian Tracy

"A good laugh is sunshine in a house." William Makepeace Thackeray

"The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but reveal to
them their own." Benjamin Disraeli

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." -- Carl W. Buechner

"Be kind and merciful. Let no one ever come to you without coming away better and happier."

Mother Theresa

“Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.”

George Eliot

“No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace
As I have seen in one autumnal face.”
John Donne

“Whenever you have truth it must be given with love, or the message and the messenger will be rejected”

Ghandi

Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.

J. R. R. Tolkien

"Now is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It won't last forever. We must take it or leave it."

C.S. Lewis

“What would the world be, once bereft of wet and wildness? Let them be left. O let them be left, wildness and wet; Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet.”

Gerard Manley Hopkins

“One can know a man from his laugh, and if you like a man's laugh before you know anything of him, you may confidently say that he is a good man.”

Fyodor Dostoevsky

“In faith and hope the world will disagree, but all mankind's concern is charity. .”

Alexander the Great

“The love of heaven makes one heavenly.”

Shakespeare

i am AWESOME. i have alexander the great [!], hopkins, eliot, lewis, and yeats.

plus, i hope you caught how random that tolkien quote is. im going to print it off very small, put it in a corner, and see if anyone notices.

!!!

hmm.

see, this is why gerard butler is one of the sweetest actors in hollywood. he can be a dad, a tortured misunderstood artiste, just gorgeous, OR leonitus ... that takes talent

meanwhile, my love clive owen is opening on friday in "shoot em' up" ... i have no idea what its about or if its supposed to be good, but ill find out soon enough, hee hee.


so guess what i did today (right now im in the library "working"). i woke up, wanted to die because my throat hurt so much, but HAD to get up because the library is doing this photoshoot thing with pictures of students and i was pretty much the only one they could recruit.
it wasnt until after the fact that i realized that not showering was probably not a good choice, but honestly, it was hard enough getting out of bed.
turns out the photoguy's sidekicklady was from portland, that was fun.
its hot, that was not fun.

bu now im upstairs, looking up cool pictures of random people im in love with, and wondering if ill ever make it to scotland

meanwhile i should get on the GREs. ew.

readings

i told mom i would keep her up to date on what im reading
so far:

macintyre: just randomness from the Summa Contra Gentiles
plato: the first two chapters of sayre's book on plato, which is GREAT, and im going to make stevo and mom read once im done with it; and the meno
socrates, nietzsche, and kierkegaard (SKN): the aplology and phaedo so far
mysticism: a couple of henry james lectures, and clement of alexandria's stromateis book vii
aquinas: question 1 ST; and two excerpts from two books by ratzinger, which were AMAZING
i couldnt even handle it (intro to christianity chapt 3-4, and principles of catholic theology, chapt 1)

these are some random quotes i got all obsessed with:

"the exponents of neoplatonic philosophy went a step farther, by interpreting myth ontologically, expounding it as symbolic theology and thus trying via interpretation to reconcile it with the truth. but that which can go on existing only through interpretation has in reality ceased to exist. the human mind rightly turns to the truth itself, not to what by means of devious interpretation can be shown to be reconcilable with the truth, though no longer containing any truth itself."

HA. take that "weeellllll if you look at it this way it looks like God is actually saying "some men" when He says, 'all men' ..... " people


" 'not to be encompassed by the greatest, but to let oneself be encompassed by the smallest - that is divine'. the boundless Spirit who bears in Himself the totality of Being reaches beyond the "greatest", so that to Him it is small, and He reaches into the smallest, because to Him nothing is too small ... to Him who as Spirit upholds and encompasses the universe, a spirit, a man's heart with its ability to love, is greater than all the milky ways in the universe."


"we unthinkingly assume that pure thought is greater than love, while the message of the Gospel, and the Christian picture of God contained in it, corrects philosophy and lets us know that love is higher than mere thought. absolute thought is a kind of love; it is not unfeeling idea, but creative, because it is love."


"the highest possibility of Being no longer seems to be the detachment of him who exists in himself and needs only himself. on the contrary, the highest mode of Being includes the element of relationship. it is hardly necessary to say what a revolution it must mean for the direction of man's existence when the supreme Being no longer appears as absolute, enclosed autarchy but turns out to be at the same time involvement, creative power, which creates and bears and loves all things ..."


"the highest power is demonstrated as the calm willingness completely to renounce all power; and we are shown that it is powerful, not through force, but only through the freedom of love, which, even when it is rejected, is stronger than the exultant powers of earthly violence."





and then he goes into mathematical beauty and then the most beautiful discourse on freedom and the incalculability of the world, and im not kidding by the end, i was freaking out and all THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER!!!!!!!! and then i had to go read clement (by had to go, mean still have to), and it just is NOT cool comparatively (he's all gnostic and foolishness)
so
you should read it
so you can enjoy it too

(the BEST part is that tomorrow i get to hear dr o'call lecture on it ... =D )

ok

night

herm

well, no need to talk about the game.
we were terrible, awful. i cant talk and it was all for nothing.
but as one of my friends pointed out, it could be worse
we could be michigan

other than the obvious than, its been wonderful being back at school
completely insane, im going to die from reading and no sleep
but all of my classes are phenomenal
i adore my profs
and the final for aquinas' philosophical theology is going to be a major paper on finding God in 'the end of the affair'
God bless john o'callaghan

what i really wanted to talk about though, was something that struck me yesterday by the lakes

i was sitting on one of the benches, mentally preparing for the pep-rally (badin hosted), and was vacantly admiring the way the sun sparkled on the water when i remembered a conversation i had with mom a few weeks ago
i was trying to explain why i find it so amazing that everything can be explained in semi-scientific ways, like sunsets and rainbows and starfish-you know, there are reasons why they are as beautiful as they are, and in order to function properly, its necessary that the result be beautiful
(at the time i was trying to think of reasons for dinosaurs existence - mom was saying that it should be enough that they existed simply to instill wonder and amazement at creation, but im still convinced there's more too it ... i dont know why, probably something to do with beauty always being a sign of some larger truth ... i dont know)
anyways
it just hit me in a very intense way, looking at the sunlight on the water, that i know exatly why it looks the way it does, with the constantly moving water because of the slight breeze and ducks floating around, the sky being absolutely clear, and spotty memories from chemistry about light and reflection and angles and whatnot, and if water must be all reflecty and shimmering-otherwise it wouldnt be able to serve its purpose of pretty much maintaining life on earth, and that without the light from the sun and the heat and chlorophyll and all that again, we pretty much wouldnt have life
so its necessary and all understandable and pretty dang cool
but you know, obviously God could have made the world any old way He wanted, but He made it so that it is just absolutely beautiful
in and of itself, the water and the sun and the lake was amazing. it was like sequins and happiness and i could have (and did) stare at it for a very long time
and i thought about how if i had my camera with me, i wouldnt take a picture
and i FINALLY understood why really, i dont like taking pictures of beautiful things
because they are never, ever as beautiful as the real thing
but mostly, because it somehow implies that *this* is more beautiful than by what we are normally surrounded

and really, we should be in awe constantly. and i think its a failing of mine, at least, that i do judge some natural things to be more beautiful than others
my sunset in broome for instance
at the time, and if im honest with myself, still, i consider it to be the most beautiful sunset i have ever seen
but that we because it was so spectacular, and unusual, and in such a unique and utterly new setting, i think i was more attracted to the novelty of it
i forget to realize that things i have grown up with, and have become totally desensitized to, are really just as beautiful
like grass, and leaves, and heavy grace of pine trees.
we are always surrounded by beauty
campuses like TAC and ND make it easier to recognize this
but even in cities, where there is little to no nature left
and you are in a ghetto and there are no beautiful artifacts
there are still people, and to me this is the greatest tragedy
the most beautiful thing you can ever be around on this earth is another human being
"immortals living in a mortal world"
and yes, there are bad people, and many will end up in hell
but we are given the means to aid as many as we can
we are able to help each other

and then i started to think about how the catholic conception of hell is beautiful
in its own way
that frpaul sermon about how no one is in hell who doesnt want to be there
and God damns no one, but loves us so much that if at the end of times that is what we are asking for, and despite how much it pains Him, He will send us there

then i started thinking about how that is the only way to think about hell and have it be anywhere palatable really (for me ... and i still have my issues at times ...), and that is because it is the only way of thinking about hell in terms of beauty
and in a way it is beautiful
so in a way i believe that it is true

and all the arguments i used to get into with rob about how i cannot believe anything on faith f it isnt beautiful, and that beauty is truth
and truth beauty

and dante
and eliot




then i went to the peprally and was all happy and then went to the game and was NOT happy
and this probably doesnt make any sense but just kinda me going off on random things i go off on
but it made more sense yesterday, i promise
(im just back in my bad-esther-habits and at the moment have a hard time seeing anything as beautiful after the revolting debacle of a game we all witnessed this afternoon)


but yeah
felt like writing about it

and to conclude thoughts from yesterday, i remembered my favourite quote from American Beauty ... possibly my favourite movie quote ever, and thus will end on a major cliche
(knowing that dad at least (dont know if mom watched it) will prolly get mad at me because i know you hate it)



"relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain"

...beauty flows through me like rain

and thats why i dont like taking pictures




ps: happy birthday catherine =)